Or maybe I just liked to have Halloween swimming parties at my Godparent's house. Don and Janice had a butt-kicking indoor pool and lived in a fairly well-off section of the west suburbs. As such, my friends and I could roam the streets of Glen Ellyn scoring free chocolate and return back to the house to consume many, many Little Caesar's "Pizza Pizza" combos and try to drown each other in a pool that was always heated just a bit hotter than it needed to be. Then we'd eat the shit out of our big bags of candy and, I guess, throw up somewhere.
As Don was a World War II veteran, I often dressed up on Halloween as an "Army Guy". One year, Don found an actual (hollowed out, of course) WWII-era grenade at an army surplus store and bought it for my inevitable costume. I gleefully attached it to my army guy belt and I can still remember that the pineapple part of the grenade kept unscrewing as my fellow candy hunters and I dashed around Don's neighborhood. I was sad, upon returning to the McCarron homestead, to find that the only part of the grenade that was still clipped to my belt was the pin and trigger mechanism...which meant that some unsuspecting neighbor went outside the next day for the morning newspaper and probably freaked the hell out and called a bomb squad, all because Don thought it would be cool to get me an actual god-damned grenade to add that special touch of realism to my army get-up. Good times.
Over the years, Halloween went from an innocent exorcise in calorie consumption to the more adult themed Halloween my generation has grown accustomed to. Girls pour themselves into sexy outfits and seem to be in some sort of erotic competition to see who could show the most cleavage without ending up hand-cuffed in the back of a squad car for indecent exposure. It really is "Straight Pride Day" and I welcomed this transition with open arms and groping hands. In my years leading up to meeting my gloriously gorgeous wife, Halloween was my favorite bar night of the year, if only for the eye candy. Really, if a single dude can't hook up on Halloween, it's because he's already passed out due to the Jagermeister shots the chesty bartender/French Maid was feeding him all night.
Now that I am married, I've come full circle on Halloween. While I still fully respect a woman's right to turn me on, I don't feel the need to go out every Halloween and try to make out with a girl that won't be slutty again until next October 31st. Krishni appreciates this. I can't imagine Krishni and I will do much tonight--other than pass out some candy in my hood--but that's ok. We spent Saturday night having some wine at home and watching "American Horror Story". That was spooky enough. And then yesterday we made our way out to "Boo! At the Zoo!" to spend some time with my nieces and nephews and sisters and brothers-in-law at the Brookfield Zoo. Krishni and I dressed up as Pirates (typically, we like to be a bit more clever in our costumes but we're poor and we wanted to be something the kids could recognize...that eliminated anything "ironic" or "slutty" from our cache of costume ideas) and the kids were dressed as the Devil, Jango Fett, a princess and the worlds cutest Yoda:
This may be a bit sentimental but I had more fun playing with the kids in our costumes yesterday than I probably had at any bar or party during my drunken Halloween days. Except for maybe that one Devo party at the Sigma Nu house, like, 12 years ago. Ho-boy. That was a good time. Christ, that night...
I'm sorry. I lost my train of thought there. Anyhow, I'm looking forward to "Mike Jacklich Halloween Incarnation III". Krishni and I will pass out candy to kids, play with my nieces and nephews dressed as Starwars guys and, of course, we'll dress up ourselves. Never fear; I won't go totally boring on you. I'm sure I'll find myself at a party or bar at some point on Hallows-Eve-future and if Krishni and I ever have a kid--god forbid--I imagine I will have a little fun with that, too.
I may be sentimental, after all, but I'm still an asshole.
