I'm pretty much 10 years removed from listening to the radio. Maybe longer. My old, badassed truck was excellent at driving through the snow and sucking gas like Jenna Jameson but terrible at getting a decent AM or FM signal. As a result, in 2006 I was the last person in America still making mixed tapes. But my "90's Audio Boner Jams" mix was wicked.
After I finally donated my broken-down truck to Kars4Kids--because apparently I hate kids with cancer--I was left vehicle-less for a year and half. However, this past January, Krishni's father returned Krishni's car to her and suddenly, I'm rocking out for 150 minutes a day as I'm stuck in traffic. On the days that I forget to recharge my Jambox, I'm left with 5 decent radio stations to keep me company on the way to and from work.
On a good day, I can get to Boomers Stadium in about 45 minutes. Getting to work is not at all a bad commute, especially because 101.1 (may you rest in peace, Q101) plays 101 minutes of 90's music. This is a delighful way to start a day, although their definition of 90's can be stretched a bit. Who honestly counts Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" as 90's music?
Pictured: the 90's
While Mr. Jovi has certainly rocked a million faces, I still think he sucks. In fact, yesterday the radio told me that both Bon Jovi and Queen have a new album coming out. So I ask you: Which is gayer?
Definitely Bon Jovi
Other than that, the new 101.1--while not worthy of Q's position on the dial--has been a pleasant surprise. A few other thoughts on the state of the radio:
1) I heard the "Macarena" the other day and thouroughly enjoyed it. So, if you're scoring at home, it takes exactly 15 years for a song like that to become fun again.
2) I never thought I would type these words: Today, on the drive home, I turned off Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter" in favor of Coolio's "Gangstas Paradise".
What? No, Eddie! I didn't say anything! We're still cool, right? Eddie? Eddie?!
3) Did Tom Petty die? I've been hearing an awful lot of Tom Petty in my car. That's not necessarily a bad thing at all--I think we can all agree that Mr. Petty is one of the more important American singers of ever--but man, "Mary Jane's Last Dance" has just not aged well. Maybe I'm getting old. Or I've never smoked weed.
4) I really, really like Alabama Shakes. Krishni and I saw them on SNL a few weeks ago and while I was intensely focusing on the soulful blues exploding from their amps, all Krishni could say was "That is the least bang-able band ever."
Indeed.
4) You know what hasn't aged well but is simultaneously better every time I hear it? "Ice Ice Baby". Since Mr. Vanilla was kind enough to release it in 1990, "Ice Ice Baby" often finds it's way into my morning commute. Like, "daily" often. And as we all know, I am an unabashed fan of Cool as Ice, the only movie that ever felt hilariously out of date the moment it was released.
He's so cool, he didn't even feel the need to move when local toughs decided to graffiti his pants.
Now, it hasn't all been winners. I still hear a lot of Dave Matthews Band. In fact, twice in the last month, Dave Matthews Band has been the best option of the 5 stations. Each time I violtently punched my radio to turn it off instead of listening to that dude whine. I still don't get it. Never will. I can't imagine how he sold, wait...what? 40 million albums? That's, that's...just awful.
One good thing though: I've spent approximately 130 hours in Krishni's car commuting to and from Schaumburg and I have not yet--not even once--heard a Metallica song.
And people think the world is going to hell.
PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!
