The only recipe you'll never need

Krishni isn't feeling quite like a normal person tonight; she's coming down off a dentist-induced novocain high.  As such, she's turning in early leaving me to make dinner on my own and watch the Bulls game.  Damn it!  For the last few months, she's been feeding me...how are they pronounced?  Vegetables?  Well, left to my own devices, I don't stand for that shit.  Unless, of course, you want to rain on my temporary-bachelorhood parade and claim that salsa is pretty much made up of vegetables. 

Since I'm unemployed and can't afford Taco Bell, I took matters into my own hands tonight.

I actually look 25% worse than my calves may indicate

Here is all that you need to make your very own Frito Burrito:

Wii handguns optional

Start with a flour tortilla.  I'm not a Mexican food snob like my awesome wife so just about any flour tortilla will do.  I picked the softest ones from the "ethnic foods" aisle at Jewel.  While I'm in this aisle with you, why do they sell those weird Jesus candles in this aisle?  They don't sell any Buddhist icons in the Asian section.  What's that about?

What?  Oh, yeah.  Adding a copious amount of beef to the tortilla:

From there, add entirely too much cheese:

On top of the cheese, add some salsa.  I like Newman's Own because I don't require a salsa that is remotely authentic and a freshly-dead Paul Newman in a sombrero slays me:

Ole!

Finally, you add the most important ingredient of all:  the fried, crispy cholesterol:

Wrap it all up...

...and you have yourself a perfectly adequate "Mexican" dinner.  Or, in my case, eat 4 of them and deal with the intestinal issues tomorrow.

Some days, I really, really enjoy unemployment. 

Writing is a process

Sometimes I have ideas that simply don't work.  For instance, I half-wrote a blog post yesterday that had a fairly good beginning but no matter how much I thought about it, the damn thing didn't have an end.  No matter how I tried to come around to a coherent point, it all sounded so preachy.  The post was about drugs and how silly I think it is that they are illegal.  I'm very pro-pot even thought I've never in my life smoked the stuff.  Funny how a cancer-ridden Mother who couldn't eat towards the end will help shape someones opinion on the matter. 

Truth be told, I have always taken a "legalize it" opinion when it comes to drugs.  Hell, if whiskey is legal, doesn't it stand to reason that pot should be?  To my knowledge, pot has never caused a person to leave their bedroom, take a left hand turn towards Terry's bedroom instead of a right hand turn towards the bathroom and then proceed to piss in the corner of Terry's bedroom--and into his lady friend's purse--all the while thinking that it was the toilet. 

That may or may not have happened to me.

It's amazing to me that politicians have not yet legalized pot.  Seeing how they could tax the hell out of it--and lesson the beheadings in Mexico--it seems like a no-brainer to me.  I also take the very controversial stance that all drugs should be legalized.  I'm of the opinion that even if heroin were legal, people wouldn't suddenly decide to inject it just because they can.  People are smarter than that.  The people that aren't that smart?  Well, that's just natural selection at work. 

Where was I?  Ah yes, the writing process.  Below, you will find the blog post that I started and couldn't finish.  You will notice that it sort of abruptly ends.  I swear to god, in my brain, that post had a point. Sometimes, however, it's best to bail out:

"This will come as a shock to some of you but it's the truth:  I've never in my life--for serious--done drugs.  While it is true that I'm sort of fascinated by the culture:  Pink Floyd is a-MA-zing and those stoned kids in college--I really, REALLY hate the term "stoners" because those smokey weasels were some of the more brilliant people I ever encountered back then--sure helped me get play in Tulsa. But it's the truth:  Mike Jacklich can be a fall-down drunk, but he's never smoked weed, snorted cocaine, or dropped acid. 

As a matter of fact, I've only been high once.  This has been discussed before but the truth is, the only time I've ever been truly "high", is that time on the east-coast road-trip with Brad where I drank two Jolt! colas in about 20 minutes. 

Wah-pa!

30 points to anyone that got that Chandler reference.

I was thinking about drugs tonight because I am unemployed, listening to The Beatles and drinking vodka.  Because, you know, what else should an unemployed guy who hasn't showered today do?  Anyhoo, I was listening to "Beatles for Sale".  BFS is an ok album, I guess.  I've always called it their most "coverful" album partly because I don't really like it and also because I am a closeted fan of puns.  The good boys in The Beatles only wrote 8 of the 14 songs on the album"

********

I think I was going to make a point that drugs were important to the lads from Liverpool and that by taking drugs, they were able to exist as a band far longer than if they hadn't discovered the ability to self-medicate.  I think. Honestly, I don't know.   That theoretical post, like this one, was

Unemployment: Day 15

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