Showing posts with label Sheer Internet Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sheer Internet Joy. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Today in Sheer Internet Joy
Sorry I haven't been blogging much...I know you have to be curious about the amount of Taco Bell I've eaten, whiskey I've dranken, times I've touched myself, etc. Trust me, those updates will be coming shortly. Perhaps as soon as this crazy weekend gets itself over with as well as the first couple of days of next week. So, say, we'll reconvene here on Wednesday/Thursday? How does that sound?
In the meantime, I present to you two of the best examples of why the internet is the most important development of my lifetime. I proudly give you: Axl Rose, Hungry Time Traveler:
And One Tiny Hand:
In the meantime, I present to you two of the best examples of why the internet is the most important development of my lifetime. I proudly give you: Axl Rose, Hungry Time Traveler:
And One Tiny Hand:
Friday, January 20, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
For those complaining about the first cat video posted yesterday...
Yes, it was fake. No, a cat did not actually get beheaded by an evil Ford SportKa. Yes, it's okay to laugh.
Apparently, the Ford Ka was an extremely popular car in Europe, the best selling car in it's class in the United Kingdom. After the first generation, Ford produced two other versions of the car: the StreetKa and the SportKa which were sleeker, more "sporty" versions of the car. To launch the new vehicles, Ford launched it's irreverent "Evil Twin" campaign that stressed the coolness of the new cars. The video posted yesterday showed a sporty Ka that seemed offended when the cat peered into it's sunroof. Below, you will find a SportKa merely protecting itself from a pigeon eying it's freshly washed hood:
That's self-defense, yo.
Apparently, the Ford Ka was an extremely popular car in Europe, the best selling car in it's class in the United Kingdom. After the first generation, Ford produced two other versions of the car: the StreetKa and the SportKa which were sleeker, more "sporty" versions of the car. To launch the new vehicles, Ford launched it's irreverent "Evil Twin" campaign that stressed the coolness of the new cars. The video posted yesterday showed a sporty Ka that seemed offended when the cat peered into it's sunroof. Below, you will find a SportKa merely protecting itself from a pigeon eying it's freshly washed hood:
That's self-defense, yo.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
OH MY GOD THAT HAMSTER IS FREAKING ME OUT
There is one thing and one thing only that you need to know about me: I think it's fantastic when cats lose their dignity. The cat is such a regal, dignified animal, revered in Egypt and worshiped in Google searches. There is a reason that the lion is the king of the jungle despite, you know, no lions in the world actually living in a jungle. The internet is flooded with cute cat photos and videos but my particular interest is in cats falling off things, cats ending up in a precarious situations, cats being baffled by laser pointers, etc. That shit just kills me.
And yes, sometimes that comedy can turn a little dark:
On a far lighter note, the Emerald Nuts "Keyboard Cat" commercial? Just wonderful:
Not convinced? Cats losing their dignity is what made Toonces the Driving cat so hilarious back before the YouTube was a twinkle in Al Gore's crotch:
Now, right now you may be saying, "Mike, I LOVE cats too! But probably not in the same way you do. Tell me: how crazy is too crazy when it comes to loving my cats?"
I'm glad you asked. There is nothing wrong with having several cats in your apartment, even if you're a single lady or--god forbid--a dude. However, when you start dressing up your pets, that's when it's time to reassess your life goals. Sure, dressing up your cat can seem like a good way to spend your time...
...but cats are dignified animals. Why would you want to piss off your cat purely for my enjoyment? The internet is filled with images of people who spent time--time they could have been spending with their kids, volunteering at shelters, stumping for gay marriage, etc--dressing up their cats, even if the cats are clearly terrified:
or downright pissed:
or just have just plain given up over what their owners have done to them:
You really, really have to figure that cats don't enjoy being manipulated to fill a void in their owners lives. Sometimes, however, you find a cat being manipulated in the name of Jesus Christ and if you're anything like me, it will both creep you out and make you squeal in delight. The following was shot before quality sound, special effects, decent music, a respectable singing voice, the American Humane Association, a captivated audience or an even average looking person was required to make a video. Someone magical dug it up and placed it on one of my favorite websites, Christian Nightmares. As stated in the title, that hamster is freaking me out. Seriously, this video will haunt your dreams:
Sleep well!
And yes, sometimes that comedy can turn a little dark:
For best results, maximize the video
On a far lighter note, the Emerald Nuts "Keyboard Cat" commercial? Just wonderful:
Not convinced? Cats losing their dignity is what made Toonces the Driving cat so hilarious back before the YouTube was a twinkle in Al Gore's crotch:
*************
Now, right now you may be saying, "Mike, I LOVE cats too! But probably not in the same way you do. Tell me: how crazy is too crazy when it comes to loving my cats?"
I'm glad you asked. There is nothing wrong with having several cats in your apartment, even if you're a single lady or--god forbid--a dude. However, when you start dressing up your pets, that's when it's time to reassess your life goals. Sure, dressing up your cat can seem like a good way to spend your time...
Case in point
...but cats are dignified animals. Why would you want to piss off your cat purely for my enjoyment? The internet is filled with images of people who spent time--time they could have been spending with their kids, volunteering at shelters, stumping for gay marriage, etc--dressing up their cats, even if the cats are clearly terrified:
or downright pissed:
or just have just plain given up over what their owners have done to them:
*************
You really, really have to figure that cats don't enjoy being manipulated to fill a void in their owners lives. Sometimes, however, you find a cat being manipulated in the name of Jesus Christ and if you're anything like me, it will both creep you out and make you squeal in delight. The following was shot before quality sound, special effects, decent music, a respectable singing voice, the American Humane Association, a captivated audience or an even average looking person was required to make a video. Someone magical dug it up and placed it on one of my favorite websites, Christian Nightmares. As stated in the title, that hamster is freaking me out. Seriously, this video will haunt your dreams:
Sleep well!
Friday, December 16, 2011
This only makes me want Taco Bell that much more
As if we needed a counter-point to my previous post:
Friday, December 2, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Today in Sheer Internet Joy
As you might imagine, I participated in many drinking games in college. We played all the traditional ones: Asshole, Oblivious Pursuit, 99 Bust-a-Rhyme (known at other Universities as "Kings Cup"), Beer Pong, the Star Wars drinking game, Quarters, Circle of Death, etc. When we didn't have any other options, sometimes we created the games; left with only a nickle, an empty cup and all the beer we can drink, Marc, Shannon and I created a game called "Pump Factory" that got us obscenely drunk one night at The Hut, the fast food joint at the student union run by an awesome chick named Carmen that really liked us...we purchased beer for 20 cents on the dollar for all 5.1 years I was in school.
One night, about 5 of us had a ton of beer but nothing to do and we had a conversation about who--currently, historically or in fiction--we thought it would be awesome to have a beer with. What started as a simple, philosophical discussion became a full, knock-down drag-out argument that had us rushing around our house looking for people to break ties on who you'd rather have a beer with: Bill Clinton or Freddy Krueger. Since it was March when we were having this argument and college hoops had been on our TV for the last 72 hours, we set up a full, 64 person bracket, expanded our voting pool to about a dozen people and whittled it down for a final four. The final four of the "People we'd most want to have many beers with" was: William Wallace (we were obsessed with Braveheart at the time), Han Solo, Jesus Christ and Indiana Jones. If memory serves--it at really doesn't--Han Solo won in a close final over Jesus Christ.
I miss college.
Considering we had a fraternity house full of engineering students who could create a bong out of just about anything, I'm shocked and disappointed that none of us ever came up with this AMAZING idea:
One night, about 5 of us had a ton of beer but nothing to do and we had a conversation about who--currently, historically or in fiction--we thought it would be awesome to have a beer with. What started as a simple, philosophical discussion became a full, knock-down drag-out argument that had us rushing around our house looking for people to break ties on who you'd rather have a beer with: Bill Clinton or Freddy Krueger. Since it was March when we were having this argument and college hoops had been on our TV for the last 72 hours, we set up a full, 64 person bracket, expanded our voting pool to about a dozen people and whittled it down for a final four. The final four of the "People we'd most want to have many beers with" was: William Wallace (we were obsessed with Braveheart at the time), Han Solo, Jesus Christ and Indiana Jones. If memory serves--it at really doesn't--Han Solo won in a close final over Jesus Christ.
I miss college.
Considering we had a fraternity house full of engineering students who could create a bong out of just about anything, I'm shocked and disappointed that none of us ever came up with this AMAZING idea:
"You sunk my battleship and I seem to have pissed my pants."
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
"The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate"
How have I never heard about this movie?
And to think of all that time I wasted with Waterworld.
And to think of all that time I wasted with Waterworld.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Today in Sheer Internet Joy
"After a long, hard day of being crucified, I love to kick back and
unwind in my Holy La-Z-Boy with a cold, refreshing Budweiser."
--Jesus "H" Christ
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Today in Sheer Internet Joy
I could not take my eyes off this video, even if the recipe was not at all for me. I can not recommend watching the whole thing enough but highlights at 4:12, garlic cutting at 6:35, tomato chopping at 9:53, and, of course, the summoning of the most important ingredient of all, at 12:50.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Today in Sheer Internet Joy
There are things I wish I'd thought of...and there are things that make learning one song on the saxophone totally worth it.
My favorite part is the part with the dolphin.
My favorite part is the part with the dolphin.
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