Happy Birthday, Civil War!

Want to know how cool I am?  Last Friday night, I traveled south on the Red Line towards downtown with a dozen or so screeching 20-somethings--many of whom wearing soon-to-be-broken 4 inch heels--going not to a bar with my new friends but to a lecture.  A lecture held by "The Civil War Round Table of Chicago" called "A Georgian Looks at Sherman".  And you know what?  It was awesome.  That was the best use of a Friday night I've had in some time that didn't involve terrified turtles scampering away from a drunken mass of singles.

As you may or may not know, I consider myself quite the history buff.  My specific area of expertise is in boring my wife with details of the Civil War or, if you're a racist dick, "The War Between the States". 

Which is why I find myself oddly wishing I had a little pointy birthday hat for today's date in American history:  On this day 150 years ago, the first* shots of the Civil War were fired in Charleston Harbor during what would become known at "the Battle of Fort Sumter".

Fort Sumter was, essentially, a nothing little fort but it stood annoyingly in the way of Charleston Harbor and Europe.  And damned if those Europeans didn't need their slave-picked cotton!  The fort withstood a pretty epic 34-hour bombardment before eventually surrendering without a single loss of defender life.  However, one Confederate gunner bled to death when his cannon misfired.  USA!  USA!

Once the fort surrendered to the rebels, it proved oddly difficult to re-take.  As a matter of fact, the Union never did re-take the fort.  Only my boy William Tecumseh Sherman's march to the sea finally pushed the Confederates to abandon the fort.  Seriously, that dude was awesome.  Totally racist, but otherwise awesome. 

None of this was covered, of course, during the super-cool lecture Brad and I attended last Friday night.  Perhaps we'll get lucky and they'll talk about it at a lecture soon!  Because, as discussed, I'm the coolest 32-year old ever...that spends his Friday nights at Civil War lectures.**


*That is what your history books will tell you.  Many would argue the first real shots of the Civil war killed an abolitionist named (seriously) Reverend Lovejoy in Alton, Illinois way back in 1837.  Elijah Parrish Lovejoy was the 1st Pastor of the College Avenue Presbyterian Church in Alton and also a writer for the abolitionist paper, The Alton Observer.  One night, while he was installing a new printing press, a pro-slavery mob descended upon the warehouse in an attempt to destroy the press.  During the standoff, Reverend Lovejoy was killed by a double-barrel shotgun blast.  Arguably, he was the 1st casualty of what would later become more than 620,000 dead on both sides.  Think about that the next time you see this guy:

"We have some new pamphlets available in our church news rack including 'Bible Bafflers,' 'Satan's Boners' and 'Good Grief, More Satan's Boners'. "

**Please, please, please don't divorce me, Krishni.