Jesus Starfish

Warning: You will never, ever be able to un-see the following image

I've never been one for scatological humor.  It's just not to my, uh, tastes.  For me, fart jokes stopped being funny in about the 8th grade.  I find that because of this, I am unlike most dudes.  To the average guy, farting is one of the joys of being a man.  Entire symphonies have been tooted in rooms full of dudes on New Years Day after several bowls of chili during the Rose Bowl. 

Bathroom humor just isn't my thing anymore.  It's part of the reason why I stopped watching Family Guy.

Pictured:  Humor

However, sometimes something so spectacular within this genre comes along--something so wonderful, sent down as a gift from God--that we just have to share it with the world.  Something like, oh, I don't know...Jesus appearing on a dog's butthole:

Praise the lord!

I know, I know.  Gross, right?  But isn't that an amazing likeness?  I have to admit, it kills me when people see Jesus or Mary or God in or on an inanimate object.  Remember that guy that found a Cheeto that vaguely resembled Jesus on the cross?:

Or the dude that found the Cheeto of Jesus praying?:

 

Or the woman who found the Cheeto of baby Jesus?:

Or the person who thankfully didn't eat the Cheeto of Mary holding baby Jesus aloft?:

Clearly, any bag of Cheetos could be blessed with a divine, delicious image.  However, Jesus and Mary don't exclusively appear in Cheetos brand snax.  My fellow Chicagoans might remember when the Virgin Mary allegedly appeared on the Kennedy Expressway's overpass at Fullerton Ave.  Dubbed--hilariously, so--"Our Lady of Fullerton", people came from all over the country to pray beneath the blessed image; probably just before donating a dollar to the unwashed homeless guy playing the bucket on the other side of the street.

 

Now, I'm not here to make fun of someones faith.  Just because I don't necessarily share the same beliefs, I would never, ever question your belief in God.  I do think that all bets are off, however, when you willingly worship a water stain that honestly looks more like a Gelgamek vagina than anything else.  

What is amazing about the Canine Jesus Starfish is that, to my knowledge, this is Jesus' first appearance on a totally animate object...on a living, breathing organism.

Though if I was a Christian, I'd feel awfully conflicted about taking that dog for a walk.