The only recipe you'll never need

Krishni isn't feeling quite like a normal person tonight; she's coming down off a dentist-induced novocain high.  As such, she's turning in early leaving me to make dinner on my own and watch the Bulls game.  Damn it!  For the last few months, she's been feeding me...how are they pronounced?  Vegetables?  Well, left to my own devices, I don't stand for that shit.  Unless, of course, you want to rain on my temporary-bachelorhood parade and claim that salsa is pretty much made up of vegetables. 

Since I'm unemployed and can't afford Taco Bell, I took matters into my own hands tonight.

I actually look 25% worse than my calves may indicate

Here is all that you need to make your very own Frito Burrito:

Wii handguns optional

Start with a flour tortilla.  I'm not a Mexican food snob like my awesome wife so just about any flour tortilla will do.  I picked the softest ones from the "ethnic foods" aisle at Jewel.  While I'm in this aisle with you, why do they sell those weird Jesus candles in this aisle?  They don't sell any Buddhist icons in the Asian section.  What's that about?

What?  Oh, yeah.  Adding a copious amount of beef to the tortilla:

From there, add entirely too much cheese:

On top of the cheese, add some salsa.  I like Newman's Own because I don't require a salsa that is remotely authentic and a freshly-dead Paul Newman in a sombrero slays me:

Ole!

Finally, you add the most important ingredient of all:  the fried, crispy cholesterol:

Wrap it all up...

...and you have yourself a perfectly adequate "Mexican" dinner.  Or, in my case, eat 4 of them and deal with the intestinal issues tomorrow.

Some days, I really, really enjoy unemployment. 

Unemployment: Day 15

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