My wife is wildly entertained by the random grudges I hold. Sometimes--even with the tiniest of slights--I have trouble letting go of the grudge I manage to create. I am also willing to admit that sometimes I hold onto the silly grudges just because they are fun.
For instance, I haven't eaten at a Jimmy Johns since a stoner "sandwich artist" yelled "WE DON'T HAVE MEATBALLS AT JIMMY JOHNS!" at me a little too loudly for my liking. Granted, this occurred sometime after 2 am after the bars had closed in Milwaukee, we were drunk as sin and--in retrospect--he may not have yelled at all. He may have just loudly exclaimed his anti-meatball manifesto when I slurred a request for a meatball sandwich after closing out a bar with 2 of my buddies.
Whatever. Jimmy Johns will never get my business again.
Another example: to this day I hate a former White Sox player named Jermaine Dye. Why? Because he once dropped a fly ball in Oakland during the eighth inning of this game that contributed to an early season loss. Seriously. Never mind that the loss only "dropped" the Sox to a 16-5 record during a season where they didn't play a single game out of 1st place and eventually won the World Series. My hatred also ignores the fact that Jermaine Dye was named MVP of that very same World Series, driving in the only run of the deciding game 4.
None of this matters. Jermaine Dye sucks.
Which brings me to Boston. These friggin' guys...
Where do I begin? Do I hate Boston because of the Red Sox? Because of Kevin Garnett? Because of Rajon Rondo? Mitt Romney? Because Fenway Park is over-priced, has terrible sightlines and was 1st runner up in the category of "Most Urine Smelling Stadium", 2nd only to Wrigley? Is it because of a palpable east coast arrogance that I hate? Because I think clam chowder is gross? Is it because ESPN sucks at the teat of the Red Sox and Yankees? Is it because Boston College has caused my Fightin' Irish so much pain over the years? Could it be Bill Belicheck? Tom Brady?
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Can't it be all of the above?
Whatever the reason, hating on Boston is super-fun. I feel that everyone needs a villain and sometimes it's important to have a better villain than Jimmy Johns.
