Soooooo Sleepy...

As you might imagine, I have a lot on my mind these days.  Normally, this doesn't affect my sleep patterns but last night was different.  By all means, I should have slept soundly:  I was awakened by my new upstairs neighbor vacuuming above my head at 9am on Sunday morning and Brad and I had dined at Garcia's yesterday afternoon which is a meal that would put any mere mortal to sleep.

Pictured above is a Garcia's burrito.  Only mine was smothered in melted cheese.

But I got another dose of bad news last night and it all just kept me awake.  It probably didn't help that my dinner yesterday consisted of 3 cookies and 2 glasses of vodka (a meal I like to call "The Drunken Girl Scout").  I would say I got 2 hours of sleep last night which is all well and good for a Saturday but terrible when I have to go to work on Monday and cheerily help grown men masturbate.


Because of my status as a member of the walking dead, this morning I am drinking caffene.  This is not a problem for most of the world.  Millions of Americans rely on a cup of coffee in the morning to kick-start their day.  In my case, though, while I have many vices, caffiene is not one of them.  I rarely drink the stuff and when I do, I get a little...weird. 

People don't believe this but I've never in my life done drugs.  I've never been "high" in the traditional sense.  However, if I have just the right amount of Mountain Dew, I start giggling, dancing and generally get excited about the dumbest things*.  And then I crash.  Hard.  So I have to continue adding caffeine to my body and riding a delicate wave that will keep me awake while not offending callers that desperately want to remove their pants**.


A few years back, I was on a road-trip with my buddy Brad.  When we stopped to gas up at some station in rural, rural Ohio, we found--much to my delight--that the gas station sold Jolt! cola.  I drank 2.  For the next hour or so, I sounded an awful lot like Roberto from Futurama:

I don't enjoy behaving like this.  Should I drink more of the stuff to even out my behavior?  Or is it a good thing that I don't drink caffeine too often?  Whatever.  I just look forward to getting some proper sleep tonight.  If only for Krishni's sake. 

*For instance, I was trying to think of something silly that I would get excited about and the term "Handjobs from Kittens" popped into my mind.  I laughed my ass off internally for a good 3-4 minutes. 

**Yes, I am well aware that it took me 3 tries to spell "caffeine" right.  I left that in as an example of me riding the caffeine wave and not giving a damn.